If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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