every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
