Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
