woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
