bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
