She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
