It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
