Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
