At least make sure they are 18
Why
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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