id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Someone came in the potted fern
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
