You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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