If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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