I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
