Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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