I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
