I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
