Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
