Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
