I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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