Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
