Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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