He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
