Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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