:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
