i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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