I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
