All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
