yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
