Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
