Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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