thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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