Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
