thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
