Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
