that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
