I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
