definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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