Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
