the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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