Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
