life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
