i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
