I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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