does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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