let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
