yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
