Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
