Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
