you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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