Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
