first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I touched a dick in church today
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
